Yanks vs. Red Sox, Game 1

Pre-Game Notes:

ESPN's pre-game team for the Yanks-Red Sox opening night broadcast: Karl Ravech, Bobby Valentine, John Kruk, Nomar Garciaparra, and... Curt Schilling.

After narrating a series of Curt-sucking highlighting, Ravech asks Schilling if he'd rather be on the field than behind the mic and Schilling coldly shoots him down: "I have no desire to put that uniform on right now." Geez Curt, was it really that bad? Can you at least pretend that it gave you joy to be a major leaguer?

For what seems like an eternity, Schilling explains the importance of throwing first-pitch strikes and getting ahead of the hitter. Schilling reels off statistic after statistic after statistic, tripping over his own words and completely losing 80% of ESPN's audience in the process. If Schilling is supposed to be the missing piece of the broadcast team that makes us forget Peter Gammons is gone, it isn't working.

Inexplicably, Dr. Dre and Lebron James join Ravech on the field to plus Beats by Dre and talk about the importance of music for professional athletes. Ravech to LeBron: "Are you naked as an athlete without music in your ear?" Good thing Greg Oden wasn't in town. That would have been awkward.

Game Notes:

• Orel Hershiser did well as the third man in the booth alongside Jon Miller and Joe Morgan. He wasn't afraid to criticize either the players --- after Granderson's homerun: "Beckett is getting lulled to sleep thinking his fastball is better than it is." Ouch. --- or the umpires --- "Joe West's strike zone can be the size of a postage stamp." --- and I felt I really learned something by listening to Orel.

• Kevin Youkilis got the first Jewish hit of the season, as well as the first Jewish run of the season. If we set the over/under on number of Jewish All Stars this year at 1.5, I'm taking the over. Youkilis and Ryan Braun are money in the bank

• My girlfriend Courtlyn, who is not a baseball fan, on Derek Jeter's squinty-eyed approach at the playe: "This guy looks stoned"

• Courtlyn on J.D. Drew: "I used to really like the name 'Drew' for a girl, and Sophie."

• Something I want to verify by reading blogs today: According to Jon Morgan, Mike Lowell got the biggest ovation from any player not in the starting lineup.